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What I Woulda Done: Per reviews Indiana Jones and the Kindom of the Crystal Skull

The new Indiana Jones movie is full of old people, in front of the camera and behind it. I get the feeling Spielberg and company went into this with the goal of showing us young whipper snappers how it's done; and they do. At it's best, the new Jones movie is vintage action that flows over our eyes and sucks us into this world without question just like the Indy's of yore.

The previous trilogy was poduced before the advent of CGI. I entered the theatre with my fingers crossed hoping that the new technology available to the creators would not lead them astray... CGI gophers. Everywhere. It's supposed to be a gag or something but it just doesn't fit. The thirty years or so since Raiders has given the myth of Indy time to really properlly sink it's teeth into popular culture. Make no mistake, Indiana (Harrison Ford) is a super hero. One of Indiana Jones' super powers is that he can't see what's not real. The gophers don't fit.

Even for an Indiana Jones movie, there were a few moments where my suspension of disbelief was cracked. In particular a scene involving three gargantuan waterfalls. A 10% chance of survival per waterfall can be upped to 50% because, come on, he's Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford has survived similar trials as The Fugitive. And I know he can flip a coin and have it come up heads every time (another one of his superpowers) but again, CGI gives us a jaw dropping water fall and says, "check that out." Well it's not real so Indy can't see it.

So what's this movie's ace in the whole? Something that could arguably make it the best Indiana Jones movie yet and I aint kiddin... Harrison Ford in his 60's. This character to him is like an old friend he hasn't seen in a long time. And we haven't really seen Ford in a long time (unless you count Firewall). Upon reunion and a big hug, you know you're gonna have some fun. I can't think of a more vibrant performance that gives justice to what it means to be "getting too old for this." Within the context of the movie, Indy is just as old as Ford is, and the movie has fun with it. I was pleased to see that the writers actually filled in the blanks of Jones' history between movies. Man, what a life this guy has lived. If you count Young Indiana Jones (of course you should), he has fought in both World Wars among other things.

Shia Labeouf plays Indy's kid. There is passing of the torch gag at the end that's great. Ford has always been one of the definitions of handsome and while Shia is a good actor with great comic timing, he's no heartthrob. That's good though, I would hate to have Jones kid be Zak Efron of High School Musical fame. A young Jones should be soft like Simba on a jouney to become hard like Mufasa. Here's to hoping that Labeouf ages as well as Harrison Ford did.

The movie shares a deus ex machina ending with Raiders; in which the bad guys win in the end, but winning is actually losing and it's Indy's humble qualities that save him. I wasn't to into that. I feel sorry for the bad guy, a russian vixen played by Cate Blanchett. In the beginning she tries to read Indy's mind and he laughs at her, and so did I. We don't take her character seriously as a threat through the whole movie, and then she dies. I feel sorry for her. What I woulda done... I woulda given her what she wants at the end (mind control, etc.) and made her an uber threatening villian for future movies.

See this movie in a packed theatre if you can; and if you catch the Wall-E trailer before the feature, consider yourself lucky.